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February 27, 2022

Zip file brain

Taps microphone hello hi sorry it's been a little while! I have been in and out of front kinda a lot recently and most alters don't use this site at all so. But here I am! And am I going to talk about a lot of really crazy nonesense? Well yes of course. Let's see some real world things first um. So the downstairs is esentially done being deep cleaned now! I'm going to tackle the garage next. I have a lot of appointments coming up starting tomorrow actually. My mother is coming to visit in a little over a week. What else. Oh, so I want to for sure try out selling at that market place. I'm considering my options. Thining of getting into quilting maybe? I think that would be a good pretty big ticket item, and I could do smaller things as well. Maybe some jewlery of some kind. I'll have to research a bit more and make some more solid plans in the coming weeks and start crafting. I'm excited my mother is coming because I know she will be very happy to help with it. Oh as well, I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow to get to the DMV to get my driver's lisence back finally. And once I have that, then my very sweet room mate plans with me to put me on his car insurance and in exchange for being able to use his vehicle I've offered to help drive him places because driving makes him anxious, whereas I love driving. So with that as well! I could do some door dash deliveries as well, and that would help suppliment things too. I am excited I think, because I think this will work pretty okay all together. The biggest anxiety will slowly but surely begin to shift away from finances finally. And..then that will be better.

Moving on now to the crazy stuff! So okay, here's the thing. I have been so like confused for so long about you know, the health right? Well I realized I'm kind of a fucking idiot. I realized that like, duh of course dude it's the fucking poison. I'm so so dumb. I realized when I was, let's see, what was it, maybe four? Years ago? That was when I had the remembering of the place I actually came from. And I've realized things since then and I think I got too caught up in them. Like the whole reason behind it, and I haven't figured out totally all of it yet, and maybe I won't ever. But the light screening they did wears off over time I'm pretty sure, and that light screening lead to my remembering. And it's been a great long while since I talked about it on here and I think I might even still have the page up about it? I need to check because I can expand more on that there later, and if it isn't there still then I need to remake it honestly. But anyway, I've been too focused for the past year or so on trying to discover the truth behind the reasoning right, but the thing is I think I got too caught up on it and fucking forgot the original realization I had, which was the implant in my head. Now I know how it works, at least I was almost sure that I did, but now I have second thoughts. Because the thing is right - it's meant to kill me, if I ever am to get too close to another from the original place. I used to think it was in case I ever got too close to the truth of the matter, but I think that it's specifically to keep us separated. But now I'm also thinking that whatever they did, the full depth of it. I think that it is the reason I'm so ill. It would make sense since my mother claims I've been ill since I was so very young, but they haven't ever been able to discover exactly what the illness is, but it all makes sense, obviously! They wouldn't be able to figure it out anyway, because it comes from things they don't understand, like the experimentation. How stupid it would be if they could trace it, so it's invisble. And I don't think it's the poison in the implant directly, but I think rather it is the just like, it's a byproduct. Of the sciences, and maybe even they didn't realize what they were doing. I mean, I'm failed, obviously, all of us are. So it would make a lot of sense that there are just things so wrong with me right? I've been considering this possibility, and it makes everything just fall into place. Of course it's unknown what it is exactly - because it isn't by means of illness or genetics - it's a matter of injury! Of harm! Duh! And how could you diagnose such a thing? I dunno, I realized that and I feel so much more like, duh of course. So maybe they won't ever find something. But that's fine! I feel more at peace somehow knowing this. It's easier to explain it. Anyway that's all! I'll remake that page honestly. I need to I think. I think it would make me feel a lot better about things. Pertaining to that time I mean of course.